Vita Blog

8 Good Morning Questions that Create Happiness

The morning is extremely important.  It is the foundation from which the day is built.  How you choose to spend your morning can be used to predict what kind of day you’re going to have.

Do you need help focusing on what matters most?

Real happiness and success comes from the quality of your attitude, your relationships, and the emotions you experience each day.  That’s where the questions below come in.  Ask yourself these questions every morning and I absolutely guarantee that your days will get happier and more prolific over time:

1.  What is the most important thing I can do today for my own well-being?

If you don’t take good care of yourself, then you can’t take good care of others either; which is why taking care of yourself is the best selfish thing you can do.

Every new day is a chance to change your life.  Work on making life all that you want it to be.  Work hard for what you believe, and keep your dreams big and your worries small.  Figure out how you can best serve yourself today.

Remember, you never need to carry more than you can hold, just take one small step at a time.  And while you’re out there today making decisions instead of excuses, learning new things, and getting closer and closer to your goals, know that there are others out there, like me, who admire your efforts and are striving for greatness too.

2.  How can I show my love to those I love?

You don’t need to be perfect to be a perfect friend or lover, but the commitment to your relationship is a precious responsibility.  Relationships last a lifetime only when two people make a deliberate choice to keep it, fight for it, and work for it.  These acts of love don’t need to be extravagant either; they just need to be true.  And true love is always shown in deeds, not just words.

Also, remember that it’s not so much about what you do for your loved ones as it is about the love you put into what you do for them.  Learn what matters most to them and make a habit of it.  

3.  How can I encourage myself and others today?

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last.  Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.”  Zig Ziglar said that, and nothing could be closer to the truth.

To accomplish great things, you must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.  Be a dreamer, a believer, and a courageous and cheerful thinker.  Be a positive motivator, a productive doer, and a go-getter who keeps her head in the clouds and her feet on the ground.  Let the spirit of passion and possibility ignite a fire within you to do something worthwhile today, and don’t forget to spread your enthusiasm to those around you.

4.  What can I do to make a positive difference in the lives around me?

Being a genuinely good person, helping others, and leaving the world better than you found it is what a truly rich life is.  Knowing deep down that you counted – that someone else’s life would not have been as well off without you in it – that’s priceless.  That’s something worth working for.

There are many small, simple actions you can make to profoundly impact your family, your community, and the world.   So do your best to leave everything you touch today a little better than you found it.

5.  How will I sincerely honor my own truth today?

You have your own way.  For you, this way of living is the absolute right way.  Honor it.

One of the most influential sources of peace is simply being comfortable with who you really are.  Not trading your reality for a role, or your truth for an act.  Not giving up your freedom of thought.  Not putting on a mask.

There cannot be peace in your external life until you are at peace within yourself, being yourself.  It won’t always be easy, but no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning your inner spirit. 

6.  What is my intuition telling me about my current path?

Is it telling you to go against the grain?  Is it urging you to do something differently?  It’s okay to listen to the advice of others, but don’t forget to check in with your own intuition.  If it leads you off the well worn path today, so be it.

Don’t apologize for what you feel and what you don’t feel; that’s a betrayal of your truth.  No matter how much advice people give you, sometimes you have to feel things out for yourself, make decisions on your own, experience things firsthand, and build your own conclusions from the ground up the old fashion way.

7.  What do I appreciate about my life right now?

As Socrates once said, “Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.”

Do not waste all your happiness by overlooking everything you have for everything you wish you had.  If you do, you will never have enough.  Instead, appreciate the goodness that is already yours, and you will instantly find a lot more to smile about.

Appreciate the good people and things around you, and you’ll soon find many more of them around you.  Truly appreciate your life, and you’ll find that you have more of it to live.  

8.  What would I like to remember about today?

Do something worth remembering.  Try something new.  Express your love.  Live your truth.  Share your enthusiasm.  Take action towards meaningful goals.  Walk your talk.  Embrace your gifts.  Bounce to the beat of your own drum.

Do whatever it takes to make today a good memory.

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

9 Things You Should Be Able to Say About Your Life

“May you live every day of your life.”
―Jonathan Swift

 

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

And you know you’re on the right track when you can repeat each of the following headlines to yourself, honestly.  

  1. I have kept an open mind to new ideas and experiences. – As they say, a ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.  Accepting some level of risk in life is important.  You cannot be both close-minded and wise.  You have to open up to the unknown.  Close-minded people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics.  Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it’s the farthest thing from it.  Because cynics don’t learn anything.  Cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world that occurs when we’re afraid it will hurt us or let us down.  Cynics always say “no.”  Do the opposite.  Saying “yes” begins things.  Saying “yes” is how things grow.  Saying “yes” leads to firsthand experience and knowledge.  “Yes” is for strong, open-minded people.  So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes.
  2. I am following my heart and intuition. – Don’t be pushed by your problems.  Be led by your dreams.  Live the life you want to live.  Be the person you want to remember years from now.  Make decisions and act on them.  Make mistakes, fail and try again.  Even if you fail a thousand times, at least you won’t have to wonder what could have been.  At least you will know in your heart that you gave your dreams your best shot.  Each of us has a fire in our hearts burning for something.  It’s our responsibility in life to find it and keep it lit.  Because it’s far better to fail in originality, our own way, than to succeed in imitation every day of our lives.  
  3. I am being honest with myself. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.  Own your choices, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.  Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will.  And when they do, you will become an instrument of their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.
  4. I am making a difference. – Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does.  Is it true that we all live to serve?  That by helping others we fulfill our own destiny?  The answer is a simple “yes.”  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.  You are only one, but you are one.  You cannot do everything, but you can do something.
  5. I don’t need anyone else to complete me. – There’s far more to life than finding someone who will want you, or getting upset over someone who won’t.  There’s a lot of important time to be spent discovering yourself without begging someone to fall in love with you along the way… and this journey doesn’t need to be empty or painful.  YOU need to fill yourself up with love – self-love – first.  Become a whole being on your own.  Go on adventures, explore your passions, wander around the city and see new sights, sit in coffee shops and read, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others who can’t pay you back, smile and have fun.  Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without someone giving it to you every second.  You can.  And once you give it to yourself, you will feel healed, and you will ultimately open yourself up to the possibility of healthy relationships with others. 
  6. I have been brave enough to be vulnerable. – So many of us feel alone, even when we’re surrounded by others we call friends and family.  Inside, regardless of present company, we feel misunderstood and scared.  We worry that telling people about our fears will make them think less of us.  We wonder if anyone else feels the same way we do.  We convince ourselves that we’re weird, that no one else hears the voices in their head, that we’re the only one who needs a hug.  Well wake up!  YOU aren’t alone.  Be brave enough to open up to those you love, and you’ll see that I’m right.  Tear down any emotional brick walls you have built around yourself.  Owning your story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending your life running from it.  Embracing your vulnerability is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and friendship and personal growth – the life experiences that require you to be the most vulnerable.
  7.  I have forgiven those who once hurt me. – We’ve all been hurt by another person at some point or another – we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt.  And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long.  We relive the pain over and over, letting them live rent-free in our head and we have a hard time letting go.  Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness, it causes us to miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.  To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you. 
  8. I persevered through tough times. – Sometimes you have to die a little on the inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself again.  Call it growth.  Call it finding yourself.  Call it whatever you want.  The key is to live moment to moment when times are tough, and push forward, until moments become minutes… minutes become hours… hours become days… days become weeks… weeks turn to months… and time again has meaning… and life becomes a reason to smile.  The process is almost like learning to walk or speak for the very first time.  It isn’t easy, but in the process we grow and we find ourselves, stronger, wiser, and possessing talents we didn’t know we had.  When we refuse to give up on ourselves, the toughest of times can lead us to the best.
  9. I have no regrets. – This one is simply an amalgamation of the previous eight, and then some…  Follow your heart.  Be true to yourself.  Do what makes you happy.  Be with who makes you smile.  Laugh as much as you breathe.  Love as long as you live.  Say what you need to say.  Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful.  Find it in your heart to make others feel good too.  Know that you don’t need many people in your life, just a few great ones, so don’t lower yourself and your standards for the wrong reasons.  Be strong when things get tough.  Remember that the universe is always doing what’s right.  Recognize when you’re wrong and learn from it.  Always look back and see how much you’ve grown, and be proud of yourself.  Appreciate all the things you have.  Celebrate your small victories.  Forgive.  And let go of the things you can’t control.
 
 
WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

 

12 Little Known Laws of Gratitude

“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.”
― Thích Nhất Hạnh

 

 

Gratitude leads to greatness.  It can literally turn what you have into more than enough, jobs into joy, chaos into order, uncertainty into clarity, and bring peace to an otherwise chaotic day.

The easiest way to make your blessings count is to count your blessings.  Acknowledging the good things you already have in your life is of the essence, because whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will grow stronger in your life.

 

1.  The more you are in a state of gratitude, the more you will attract things to be grateful for.

  • Be grateful for what you have, and you’ll end up having more.
  • Focus on what you don’t have, and you’ll never have enough.
 

2.  Being happy won’t always make you grateful, but being grateful will always make you happy.

  • It’s nearly impossible to sincerely appreciate a moment and frown about it at the same time.
  • To be happy right now doesn’t mean you don’t desire more, it means you’re grateful for what you have and patient for what’s yet to come.

3.  Gratitude fosters true forgiveness, which is when you can sincerely say, “Thank you for that experience.”

  • It makes no sense to condemn or regret an important life lesson.
  • Gratitude makes sense of yesterday, brings peace to the present, and creates a positive vision for tomorrow.

4.  You never need more than you have at any given moment.

  • It has been said that the highest form of prayer is giving thanks.  Instead of praying ‘for’ things, give thanks for what you already have.
  • When life gives you every reason to be negative, think of one good reason to be positive.  There’s always something to be grateful for.

5.  Gratitude is all-inclusive.

  • Good days give you happiness and bad days give you wisdom.  Both are essential.
  • Because all things have contributed to your advancement, you must include all things in your gratitude.  This is especially true of your relationships.  We meet no ordinary people in our lives; if you give them a chance, everyone has something important to teach you.

6.  What you have to be grateful for in the present changes.

  • Be grateful for all you have now, because you honestly never know what will happen next.  What you have will eventually be what you had.
  • Life changes every single day, and your blessings will gradually change along with it.

7.  A grateful mind never takes things for granted.

  • What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.
  • The circumstance (or person) you take for granted today may turn out to be the only one you need tomorrow.

8.  As you express your gratitude, you must not forget that the highest appreciation is not to simply utter words, but to live by them daily.

  • What matters most is not what you say, but how you live.
  • Don’t just say it, show it.  Don’t just promise it, prove it.

9.  Gratitude includes giving back.

  • In the hustle of everyday life we hardly realize how much more we receive than give, and life cannot be rich without such gratitude.
  • It is so easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements compared with what we owe to the aid of others.

10.  The highest tribute to the people and circumstances you’ve lost is not grief but gratitude.

  • Just because something didn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t the greatest gift imaginable.
  • Be thankful that your paths crossed and that you got the chance to experience something wonderful.

11.  To be truly grateful, you must be truly present.

  • Count the blessings in your life, and start with the breath you’re taking right now.
  • We often forget that the greatest miracle is not to walk on water; the greatest miracle is to walk on this green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment, appreciating it and feeling completely alive.

12.  Letting go of control multiplies the potential for gratitude.

  • Sometimes we put too much weight into trying to control every tiny aspect of our lives that we completely miss the forest for the trees.
  • Learn to let go, relax a bit and ride the path that life takes you sometimes.  Try something new, be fearless, but above all else, do your best and be OK with it.  Clearing yourself of needless expectations lets you truly experience the unexpected.  And the greatest joys in life are often the unexpected surprises and opportunities you never anticipated.

 

 

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

 

 

 

 

When I Started Loving Myself” – A Poem By Charlie Chaplin

When I Started Loving Myself” – A Poem By Charlie Chaplin Written On His 70th Birthday On April 16, 1959:

When I Started Loving Myself
I Understood That I’m Always And At Any Given Opportunity
In The Right Place At The Right Time.
And I Understood That All That Happens Is Right –
From Then On I Could Be Calm.
Today I Know: It’s Called TRUST.

When I Started To Love Myself I Understood How Much It Can Offend Somebody
When I Tried To Force My Desires On This Person,
Even Though I Knew The Time Is Not Right And The Person Was Not Ready For It,
And Even Though This Person Was Me.
Today I Know: It’s Called LETTING GO

When I Started Loving Myself
I Could Recognize That Emotional Pain And Grief
Are Just Warnings For Me To Not Live Against My Own Truth.
Today I Know: It’s Called AUTHENTICALLY BEING.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Stopped Longing For Another Life
And Could See That Everything Around Me Was A Request To Grow.
Today I Know: It’s Called MATURITY.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Stopped Depriving Myself Of My Free Time
And Stopped Sketching Further Magnificent Projects For The Future.
Today I Only Do What’s Fun And Joy For Me,
What I Love And What Makes My Heart Laugh,
In My Own Way And In My Tempo.
Today I Know: It’s Called HONESTY.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Escaped From All What Wasn’t Healthy For Me,
From Dishes, People, Things, Situations
And From Everyhting Pulling Me Down And Away From Myself.
In The Beginning I Called It The “Healthy Egoism”,
But Today I Know: It’s Called SELF-LOVE.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Stopped Wanting To Be Always Right
Thus I’ve Been Less Wrong.
Today I’ve Recognized: It’s Called HUMBLENESS.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Refused To Live Further In The Past
And Worry About My Future.
Now I Live Only At This Moment Where EVERYTHING Takes Place,
Like This I Live Every Day And I Call It CONSCIOUSNESS.

When I Started Loving Myself
I Recognized, That My Thinking
Can Make Me Miserable And Sick.
When I Requested For My Heart Forces,
My Mind Got An Important Partner.
Today I Call This Connection HEART WISDOM.

We Do Not Need To Fear Further Discussions,
Conflicts And Problems With Ourselves And Others
Since Even Stars Sometimes Bang On Each Other
And Create New Worlds.
Today I Know: THIS IS LIFE!

 


 
“We shall not cease from exploration 
 
and the end of all our exploring 
 
will be to arrive where we began
 
 and to know the place for the first time.“
 
 
 
 
 T. S. Eliot’s 

 

4 Questions that Will Change Your Attitude

A peaceful person is not a person who’s always in a good situation, but rather a person who always has a good attitude in every situation.

To a great extent, we create our fate every single day, and most of the ills we suffer from are directly traceable to our own (controllable) attitude.  Life is packed full of uncontrollable events; in many situations the only thing we can control is the attitude we choose to respond with.

When you really take the time to think about it, everything happening around us is neutral and meaningless up until the point that we give it meaning.  And the questions we ask ourselves drive the meaning we create and the attitude we have about everything.

Regardless of what you’re going though, it’s about choosing:  Will I allow this to upset me?  Will I choose to make this bad or good?  Will I choose to stay or walk away?  Will I choose to yell or whisper?  Will I choose to react or take the time to respond?

When somebody  comes to us feeling down about a life situation they can’t control, we typically start by reinforcing the hard truth: sometimes changing your situation isn’t possible – or simply not possible soon enough.  You can’t get to a new job in an instant.  You can’t make someone else change against his or her will.  And you certainly can’t erase the past. But…

You CAN always choose an attitude that moves you forward.  And doing so will help you change things from the inside out, and ultimately allow you to grow beyond the struggles you can’t control.

Here are four powerful questions that will support you with a positive attitude adjustment when you need it most:

1.  Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you erased the thought that’s worrying you?

Worry is the biggest enemy of the present moment.  It does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all.  When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create moments you don’t want.

Realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.  Because inner peace does not depend on external conditions, it’s what remains when you’ve surrendered your ego and worries.  Peace can be found within you at any place and at any time.  It’s always there, patiently waiting for you to turn your attention toward it.

Peace of mind arrives the moment you come to peace with what’s on your mind.  It happens when you let go of the need to be anywhere but where you are, physically and emotionally.  This acceptance of the way things are creates the foundation for inner harmony.  The need for something to be different in this moment is nothing more than a worry, and worries simply lead you in circles.

It’s always the right time to embrace the present – just the detached awareness and acceptance of right here, right now.  Only then do you have the power to focus on your challenges and opportunities more mindfully – and that changes everything.

2.  What could you be positive about right now, if you really wanted to?

Your greatest weapon against stress and negativity is your ability to choose one thought over another.  Happiness escapes from those who refuse to see the good in what they have.  When life gives you every reason to be negative, think positive.

Your thoughts do not end when you finish thinking them.  They continue to echo through your life.  Choose wisely and intentionally.  Be outrageously and unreasonably positive.  Be funny and creative and ridiculous and joyful all at the same time.  Smile as often as possible.  A smile actually changes the vibe of your body.  It alters, physiologically, the chemistry of your being.  It will make you feel better and do better.

I n   recent scientific studys showed that doctors who are put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis consistently experience significant boosts to their intellectual abilities than doctors in a neutral state, which allows them to make accurate diagnoses almost 20% faster.  The same study then shifted to other vocations and found that optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by over 50%.  Students primed to feel happy before taking math tests substantially outperform their neutral peers.

So it turns out that our minds are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative, or even neutral, but when they are positive.

3.  How can you respond from a place of clarity and strength, rather than thoughtlessly reacting to this experience?

Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, pause, and consciously decide if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the present.

In order to gain conscious control of what goes on in your mind, you need to develop a keen awareness for this process.  What helps is to hold still for a moment, take a deep breath and free your mind of all the chatter that’s going on inside and all around.  This makes room for a change of state, for something new to enter.

From the awareness of your thoughts and emotions you grow capable of consciously redirecting your focus.  It’s time to take it willingly away from something that drags you down, and zero it in on something that inspires you.  Focus on the next logical, meaningful step.  There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them.

In almost every case, nothing is stopping you… nothing is holding you back but your own thoughts about yourself and “how life is.”  Your perception creates your beliefs, your beliefs create your behaviors, and your behaviors produce your experience.  That’s why you must sort through your thoughts carefully, and choose to respond only to those that will help you build the life you want, and the outlook you want to hold as you’re living it.

4.  What can you let go of right now without losing a thing?

Honestly, there’s so much you can let go of in life without losing a thing.  It’s called growth.  Letting go of old ideals makes way for new opportunities.   Letting go of what isn’t working makes way for what will.  When the pain of holding on is worse than the pain of letting go, it’s time to let go and grow.  In other words, start subtracting… the habits, routines and thoughts that are holding you back.  You cannot discover new oceans unless you build up enough courage to lose sight of the old, familiar shoreline.

Forgiveness is a vital part of this process.  Forgiveness doesn’t always lead to healed relationships and situations.  Some relationships and situations aren’t meant to be.  Forgive anyway, and let what’s meant to be, BE.  Go ahead and set yourself free.  When you hold resentment toward another entity, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.  Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and break free.

It’s time to stop expecting everything outside you to change, and instead focus on changing from within; do so and you may quickly find the peace of mind that has always eluded you.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 

Closing Exercise

here the first question for you:-

Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you erased the thought that’s worrying you?

In other words, think carefully about a specific thought that’s been troubling your worried mind lately, and then visualize how your life would be different if you removed this thought:

  • How would it change your outlook on your present life situation?
  • Would you treat yourself and others differently?
  • How would you feel?
  • How would you behave?

 

  • What else would you able to accomplish?
WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

 

12 Little Known Laws of Mindfulness

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”
– Carl Jung

Mindfulness as a daily ritual is the ultimate challenge and practice.  It’s a way of living, of being, of seeing, of tapping into the full power of your humanity.

At its core, mindfulness is…

  • Being aware of what’s happening in the present moment without wishing it were different
  • Enjoying each pleasant experience without holding on when it changes (which it will)
  • Being with each unpleasant experience without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t)

Knowing this is important.  Living every day in such a way that makes mindfulness possible is life-changing.  Here are twelve basic laws of (practical) mindfulness that make mindful living a gradual reality:

1.  Your only reality is THIS MOMENT, right here, right now.

  • The secret to health for the mind, body and soul is not to mourn the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment mindfully and purposefully.
  • True wealth is the ability to experience the present moment fully.  No other time and place is real.  Lifelong peace and abundance is found in such simple awareness.

2.  A negative thought is harmless unless you believe it.

  • It’s not your thoughts, but your attachment to your thoughts, that causes suffering.
  • Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true without proof.  A belief is a thought that you’ve been attaching to, often for years.

3.  You will not be punished FOR your anger; you will be punished BY it.

  • Speak and act when you are enraged, and you will make the best speech and motions you will ever regret.
  • Being angry and unhappy about something is easy.  Doing something productive about it is the hard and worthwhile part.  Life is too precious and too short to spend it being upset.  Drop it.  Be positive. Be your best.

4.  Inner peace is knowing how to belong to oneself, without external validation.

  • In order to understand the world, you have to turn away from it on occasion.
  • Sometimes you justify yourself to others when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.  Don’t look for anyone else to give you permission to be yourself.  You don’t need anyone’s validation to be happy or to live a good life.

5.  Everything is created twice, first in your mind and then in your life.

  • If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for almost anything.
  • Keep your morals close to your heart and at the top of your mind.

6.  There is a wilderness you walk alone, however well accompanied you are.

7.  To strongly believe in something, and not live it, is dishonest.

  • Don’t bend; don’t water down your dreams; don’t try to make every feeling logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion trends.  Rather, follow your most intense passions, mindfully.
  • Characterize yourself by your actions and you will never be fooled by other people’s words.

8.  The right path and the easy path are rarely the same path.

  • You will ultimately come to realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path, and it’s worth your while.  Every step forward may be tough, but will feel better than anything else you can imagine.
  • People don’t stop pursuing their dreams and passions because they grow old; they grow old because they stop pursuing their dreams and passions.

9.  If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs.

  • Instead of thinking about what you want, first consider what you are willing to give up to get it.  You can’t have the destination without the journey.  If you want the six-pack abs, you have to want the sweat, the sore muscles, the early mornings at the gym, and the healthy meals.
  • Ask yourself: What is worth suffering for?  If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it, then maybe you don’t actually want it at all, because you’re not willing to suffer though the work it’s going to take to achieve it.

10.  Overcommitting is the antithesis of living a peaceful, mindful life.

  • There’s a difference between being committed to the right things and being overcommitted to everything.  It’s tempting to fill in every waking minute of the day with to-do list tasks or distractions.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Leave space.
  • Keep your life ordered and your schedule under-booked.  Create a foundation with a soft place to land, a wide margin of error, and room to think and breathe.

11.  When you try to control too much, you enjoy too little.

  • Don’t live a life packed full of concrete plans.  Work hard, but be flexible.  The best moments often happen unplanned and the greatest regrets happen by not reaching exactly what was planned.
  • Sometimes you just need to let go, relax, take a deep breath and love what is, right now.

12.  When you are tired, you are attacked by ideas you likely conquered long ago.

  • You must refill your bucket on a regular basis.  That means catching your breath, finding quiet solitude, focusing your attention inward, and otherwise making time for recovery from the chaos of your routine.
  • It’s perfectly healthy to pause and let the world spin without you for a while.  If you don’t, you will burn yourself out.

Afterthoughts

I am reminded that the greatest enemy of good thinking, and thus mindfulness, is busyness.

Busyness isn’t a virtue, nor is it something to respect.  We all have seasons of wild schedules, but very few of us have a legitimate need to be busy ALL the time.  We simply don’t know how to live within our means, prioritize properly, and say no when we should.

Although being busy can make us feel more alive than anything else for a moment, the sensation is not sustainable long term.  We will inevitably, whether tomorrow or on our deathbed, come to wish that we spent less time in the buzz of busyness and more time actually living a purposeful, mindful life.

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF